Here it is fall of  November 20th 2018 and I feel everything sitting on top of me like heavy bricks. I’ve tried to keep everything in order, but I’m such an anxious person I continue to think about the things that I sometimes shouldn’t. My first semester is ending, and I must say I’m exhausted. My brain won’t stop thinking about all the things that I have to tend to during this time. I’ve realized that trying to do multiple things like work, go to school, have a relationship, and also still be sociable with others is sometimes hard. I’ve lacked in some areas this year and I’m praying that this new year brings out the best in me. My brain has been scattered beautifully this year but I have learned many things about myself. I take chances with people, but I’m quick to close the door to someone I feel isn’t good for me.  I can surround myself with love, but if I don’t love myself then I’d still feel empty. Sometimes old wounds open back up with the right conversation. And it’s okay to say NO! I’m on a journey of growth every day and it’s a place where I’ll never become comfortable. Which is good because we can not grow where there is comfort. I no longer want to settle into a place and let my feet sink into the quick sand of life. I’ve given myself the freedom to only let certain things trigger the tears that fall down my face. People always says its okay to cry, but I use to let everything hurt me to tears.  I won’t allow that anymore. I want to be a more brilliant woman, but still be the compassionate me I’ve always been. This is no New Years resolution….This is just me imagining a better mindset for the upcoming days, months, years to come. 

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